Can I borrow a spider?

I started doing standup about a month ago. I’ve been hitting the open mics pretty religiously, knowing that only being on stage is going to make being on stage better. So far, it’s fraught with anxiety and uncertainty. I’ve had several dreams about standup already, a sure sign that I’m wrestling with its meaning and import in the depths of my mind.

Last night I dreamed that I was doing a mic at a laundry mat. Of course. But it was a union laundry mat—of course—so the mic host didn’t actually control the microphone. The microphone and PA system were controlled by the union rep onsite, or PA steward.

(A brief aside: I think we can all agree, regardless of your political stripe, that unions are killing the laundry mat business.)

The PA steward, however, wasn’t be very open-mic friendly as he wouldn’t turn down the music in the laundry mat, which made it hard to impossible for the patrons to hear the jokes.

This infuriated me in particular because I opened with this comedic gem: “Can I borrow a spider?”

Comedy gold.

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  1. olivershmoliver posted this